Thank goodness the delivery notice telling me “we delivered your package” was affixed directly to my package, or I never would have known.
If they’re going to play these sort of mind-games, they should go all out, check ‘other’, and pencil in “right fucking here.”
Over the years that I’ve had her, I’ve bought a variety of beds for my cat, Caldonia. Without exception these have been ignored in favor of piles of laundry, cardboard boxes, magazines on the floor, pretty much anything not specifically designed as a cat bed.
For Christmas, my mother gave her a “Wooly Buddy Bed”, a very cozy-looking bed constructed from a woolly sweater. 5% of the proceeds from which are donated to The Home For Friendless Animals in Waynetown, IN., she tells me. This sounds wonderful and the bed looks like just the sort of thing a cat should want to lay on, but, given my past experience, I had my doubts.
I got the bed home and Caldonia loves it. She now spends the majority of her sleeping time in her new bed. My mother and my Aunt each have 2 cats all of whom are just as enamored of their ‘Wooly Buddy Beds’ as my cat is. 5 cats, all with very different personalities, but they agree on one thing, they love their “Wooly Buddy Beds”.
So, if you, or someone you know, has a hard to please feline (or dog, she makes them for our canine friends as well) I strongly urge you to get in touch with Susie at Wooly Buddy Beds. (No affiliation, just the “roommate” of a very satisfied user.)
Just as I was falling asleep Saturday I was jolted awake by a loud CRASH. The cat was next to me on the bed (though she made a mad dash for cover) so I knew it wasn’t her. Since there was no one else here, I decided it must have come from the downstairs neighbor. Replaying in my mind what I’d heard, I decided that it sounded like someone dropped a large metal can full of smaller cans, or possibly dishes; probably in the foyer. Satisfied with this explanation, I dozed back off, though I was still contemplating it. Sometime later I awoke again, worried that the noise could have come from my apartment somewhere. Checking for signs of calamity, I made my way to the kitchen. There, sitting in pool of water amid the shattered shards of the cat’s water dish was my old toaster, which apparently fell from its spot on the shelf of the microwave cart.
I’d refilled the cat’s water when I got home, then gone to bed. A short while later I awoke and went to the kitchen for a drink. I noticed that I hadn’t put her water in its usual spot, next to the microwave cart, so I moved it. At no time during this process did I notice the toaster (which hasn’t been moved since I got a new toaster last Christmas) resting precariously.
Here’s the really crazy part. This isn’t the first time it’s happened!! A couple of years ago the toaster dove into, and smashed, Caldonia’s food dish while I slept.
This is obviously the work of a ghost. A ghost with a taste for toast. Or a ghost that doesn’t like my cat. Or an evil mouse. Whatever the fuck it is, I wish it would stop. One thing’s for certain: I’m getting rid of that damned toaster. Then, if need be, I’ll call an exorcist and/or exterminator.
I realize that this is of little interest to anyone who isn’t me, but, what the Hell; it’s my blog!
If you would like to learn more about BOINC, SETI@home, Rosetta@home, or Einstein@home, then by all means, click away.
What follows is a press release from Ohio Senator Teresa Fedor. I just hope that:
A) The bill passes, and
B) It will be enforced once it does.
I’m dubious about the latter, though. I’ve seen too many reports from states that do have a “3 foot law” where a cyclist is hit by an overtaking motorist, yet no charges are filed against the motorist. Progress is slow, I suppose.
PRESS RELEASE
From State Senator Teresa Fedor
11th Senate DistrictFOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Ursula Barrera
September 23, 2009 (614) 466-5204Senators Teresa Fedor and Mark Wagoner to Announce Bicycling Safety Bill Local cyclists and Ohio Bicycle Federation Representatives to Attend
Columbus, Ohio — Senators Teresa Fedor (D-Toledo) and Mark Wagoner (R-Ottawa Hills) will announce the introduction of a bicycle safety bill September 28, 2009 at 10:30 on the west lawn of the Statehouse. The legislation will define a safe lateral passing distance of three feet when a motor vehicle passes a bicycle or other non-motorized vehicle. The Ohio Bicycle Federation President, Chuck Smith, will be in attendance to speak in support of the legislation. Local riders and those injured by the failure of drivers to observe a safe passing distance will also be in attendance.
“Cyclists often do not feel safe riding in their neighborhoods or to work because of unsafe distances between cars. We must make Ohio streets safer for our over one million cyclists,” said Senator Fedor.
Senator Fedor, joined by Senator Wagoner for part of the journey, completed her 3rd Annual Bike to the Capitol tour during Bike to Work Week. The ride reinforced the need for bike-friendly communities and safer roads for those who use bicycling as an alternative mode of transportation. The tour took Senator Fedor from Toledo to Columbus over a 3-day period on a “Campaign for Healthy Kids and Communities”. The event was geared toward raising awareness about quality physical and health education standards in schools, alternative means of transportation and bicycle-friendly communities.
For more information on bicycling issues, check out the Ohio Bicycle Federation’s website at http://www.ohiobike.org/
I’m a firm believer in adequate illumination for night-time cycling. My personal set up for the last several years has been: A 7 LED red “blinky” light mounted to the seatpost and a 12W Cygolite halogen (I know, I need to get with times) mounted to the handlebars (henceforth: “headlight“). I’ve heard various people rave about head-mounted lights (henceforth: “headlamps“) over the years, but have resisted their pull, at least partly because of the perceived (on my part) dork-factor.
Anyway, some time ago I bought a Garrity 1W Luxeon LED Headlamp because of Woot having a great deal on them and my inability to resist a bargain.
Tonight I finally strapped the headlamp on and went for a ride. Oh, my God! Why did I not do that sooner. My old trusty headlight does a fine job of illuminating the road, especially the road right in front of me, but what an incredible addition the headlamp was. Its tightly focused beam allowed me to see well beyond where I could have otherwise (a real blessing when descending at speed) and the fact that it went where I was looking was most helpful, particularly when cornering and turning. It would also be quite helpful for the game of “skunk or kitty-cat” I sometimes play.
I wouldn’t want to ride with just the headlamp as its beam is too tightly focused for general illumination, but I can’t imagine riding at night without it now.
Now I just need to make the jump to an LED headlight, too. Boy, am I glad I didn’t drop several hundred dollars on an HID system a few years ago! LED’s are so vastly superior (for bicycle applications) in every significant way (more efficient, less heat, no mega-expensive short-lived bulbs to replace).
It’s just come to my attention that I first signed up with SETI@home on September 1, 1999. I did take some time (a few years, maybe; who knows?) off after they discontinued the original SETI@home and switched to the BOINC client. Anyway, during those first few years I completed 5,218 SETI classic workunits, donating 41,374 CPU-hours. Since switching over to the BOINC client I’ve earned over 900,000 credits split more or less evenly between SETI@home, Einstein@home and Rosetta@home. As a matter of fact I’m on pace to surpass 1,000,000 credits sometime in October. It really is quite remarkable to reflect upon. I first started crunching data for SETI with a Pentium 233 MMX with, I think, 128M of RAM (That’s 233 Mhz, kids). Now the slowest computer I’m running is a Pentium 4 2.8Ghz with 768M of RAM. Moore’s law, indeed!
If for some inexplicable reason you’d like to see my BOINC stats, you can do so here or here.
Finally saw the horn-as-doorbell idiot in the flesh. While I was out working on my car (@ 8:15AM) there was a familiar blast of steam-boat sounding car horn. Stepping from behind the raised hood I’m face to face with a Cadillac full of (I’m assuming) carpoolers. Lady in the passenger seat says “we weren’t blowing at you, we were blowing for our friend”. I don’t know if they heard me say “Have you never heard of a fucking doorbell?” as I climbed into my car (whose windows, like theirs, were down), but I don’t really care.
What the hell is wrong with people? Surely at least one of those people, too lazy to walk to the front door, has a cell phone and could call their friend to announce their arrival, rather than entertaining the entire neighborhood with their charming novelty horn every Goddamned morning, at 8AM!
I feel bad for neglecting the blog. If you feel like you’re missing out on your daily/weekly/monthly allotment of Gregisms, you can catch up with me on Twitter (@gargreguan). Anyway, I just wanted to share my latest brainstorm with you, my adoring public.
I’m going to start an “anti-social networking” site and call it…
HateBook(!) As soon as I figure out a way to monetize the thing I’ll be sitting on easy street.
Shut up! I hate all you melon-fevers!
As I do almost all of my banking online or via debit card, I use, at the very most, 3 or 4 checks per month. This means that an order of checks lasts me a very long time. After writing the check for my rent (the only check I write every month, I discovered/remembered that I’m almost out of checks. I had noticed this some weeks ago, but since I was still using the freebies from when I opened the account (literally 3+ years ago!) I couldn’t just re-order online and would have to talk to a “customer service represenative”.
So, I call the 800 number and navigate through the menus until I get “Troy” on the line. Troy was quite personable, making chit-chat as he gathers the necessary information (evidently, the weather in Manila, Philippines is quite nice now). Troy asks me if I want the same checks as before, “sure, that’s fine” says I. Then Troy dropped a bombshell; 250 of the rather ordinary-looking checks I’ve been using will cost $77!! First of all, I do not need 250 checks, it’s taken me 3 1/2 years to use 150. Secondly, $77 for checks? That’s fucking crazy!
So, I politely explain to Troy that there is absolutely no way I’m paying that much for checks. With little fanfare he hooks me up with plain-old, regular-ass checks, yellow, I believe, for a much less angina-inducing $21.50 per 150. Assuming I don’t move (or die) I should still be using these checks 5 years from now.
$77 for checks! That’s just crazy talk!
In the wee hours of Friday morning, I found myself in need of a stamp. Sadly, the Post Office half a mile from my house mysteriously removed their stamp machines some time ago, so I’ll have to turn elsewhere.
No problem, I think, the US Bank (an account I’ve kept open for no reason other than occasional fee-free ATM usage) is just as close and the ATM sells stamps. And so, off I go. After I go through the dozen or so steps necessary to purchase stamps the ATM informs me that my card has expired and asks if I want another transaction. Another transaction? WTF? No, thank you, just give me back my useless card.
So, I return home to search for the ATM card which I assume came, unnoticed, in the mail. No luck. If the card came, it apparently made its way, unnoticed, into the trash. OK, plan B. I can use the debit card for my primary account, pay a fee to everyone involved, and get my stamps. I return to the ATM, only to discover that neither of the possible PIN’s which come to mind will work so I’m thwarted once more.
Dejected, I turn for home and when I’m almost there I realize Fulmer’s (the very conveniently-located grocery store which I hate and never shop at) is open 24 hours and sells stamps. I turn around, zip over to Fulmer’s (which looks suspiciously dark) and head for the door. As I approach the doors a man inside meets me and indicates that they’re closed, they don’t open until 6. Huh, apparently they are no longer open 24 hours.
So after all of this, I head to the Kroger across town where I normally do my grocery shopping, which I know for certain was still open 24 hours as recently as last week. It is open. Victory is mine! Naturally the only cashier working is taking her break, and naturally, the guy filling in for her is unfamiliar with the stamp selling protocol, but after a few false-starts I finally have my stamps.
I place a stamp on my envelope, drive back across town to the Post Office right by my house (you know, the one where they took out the fucking stamp machines) and drop it in the mail. A mere 2 hours after I started this little adventure, I was safely back at home.
And that, friends, is how hard it is to buy stamps.